The Honest Courtesan

Man is a question; woman is an answer.  The mistake women make today is to offer themselves as answers before being questioned.  –  José Bergamín

For several decades the idea that men are “afraid of commitment” has been a feminist shibboleth – despite the fact that it flies in the face of normal women’s experiences.  In my experience and that of most women I know, men nearly always say “I love you” first and it’s women who shun commitment; I’ve received dozens of marriage proposals in my life, but only accepted two.  The male-commitment-phobia myth dates to the late 20th century; in both fiction and personal accounts written before that it’s always the man depicted as expressing his love, serenading beneath the balcony, proposing multiple times before his inamorata finally says “yes”, etc.  The truth of the matter is that men are only afraid of commitment to the…

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